reviewsBIGGERBUDGETS

Man on Fire
  Director: Tony Scott
In this overblown mish-mash of a revenge movie, any semblance of reality is thrown out the door as
a down-on-his-luck hitman (is there any other kind?) is assigned to bodyguard the incredibly perky
daughter of a rich Mexican and his American wife. It's never quite explained why, if Mexico City is
so dangerous, the couple simply don't move back up to the States, yet logic has no place in this film.
Denzel Washington turns from gruff yet compassionate to absurdly masochistic -- going so far as
to insert a bomb inside the anus of a Mexican thug -- after the little girl is kidnapped and presumed
dead. Subtitles, and then every single bit of dialogue, begin to fly out of all corners of the screen,
while the seizure-inducing editing and cinematography fervently try to hype up a story that isn't
really there. All this is done for the sake of a small child named Pita, whose name should really be
changed to PETA -- that is, Producers for the Ethical Treatment of Anthony.
   My grade: D
   Screened: April 24

The Ladykillers
  Director: Joel & Ethan Coen
After unsuccessfully trying to go "mainstream" with last year's "Intolerable Cruelty," the Coen Bros.
again misfire with this black comedy about the usual gang of idiots caught up in a quirky plan of
murder and mayhem. Tom Hanks isn't half-bad as the ringleader, but he's not half-good either, and
the movie's comedy comes in nervous fits rather than sustained guffaws. The only actor who truly
lights up the screen each time he's on is Marlon Wayans, playing an unscrupulous casino worker,
and that's only because we're never sure what profane, acidic comment is going to fly out of his
mouth. Once he's gone, the whole movie dies with him.
   My grade: B-
   Screened: April 3


By Anthony Kusich		Big Budgets, Bigger Let-Downs		Main Page





		*Troy* Director: Wolfgang Petersen In an Asiatic land many years ago, a war was fought between two nations over frivolous concerns during which someone from the oppressed party could be heard remarking, "We will not submit to the will of a foreign leader." Iraq? No, "Troy." But the anachronistic dialogue and clothing might have thrown you off. Ornamented in the colorful sarongs, mini-skirts, and shawls that wouldn't seem out of place in a J. Peterman catalog, Brad Pitt struts and underacts as Achilles, the godlike ancient Greek warrior with a weakness in his heel (though that's never really explained). He's out to reclaim the stolen Queen Helen from young, irresponsible Paris (as wimpy as the city with which he shares a name), yet he -- and the audience -- is never really sure which side he's on. The movie is timelier than it should be, what with the good King Peter O'Toole remarking that "even our enemies deserve respect." Yet all Achilles desires is to have his name be remembered throughout history -- which, in fact, it is...because of his foot ailment, that nagging Achilles heel. Likewise, "Troy" will probably be best remembered in the years to come for its nagging weakness of script and story. My grade: B- Screened: May 15

			*The Girl Next Door* Director: Luke Greenfield Reminiscent of a pint-sized "Risky Business," "The Girl Next Door" is a chaste version of your standard teen sex comedy...featuring absolutely no sex and even less comedy. Emile Hirsch attempts to bring depth to the utterly boring and tightly-wound character of a high school senior about to graduate without ever having taken a risk. His two cornball friends -- classic cut-outs from the "American Pie" mold, except these kids actually look like they're in high school -- think the new hottie neighbor is actually a porn star. An underdeveloped romance ensues, a cold-hearted skin flick producer makes some threats, and (what do you know?) everyone graduates. My grade: C- Screened: April 10



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